Top 10 Worst Movies of 2014

Between Turtles, Raptures, and Ouija Boards... here are the worst films of 2014.

Kick Ass 2 - Review

I have to admit, I find it a bit surprising that someone decided to make a sequel to the 2010 comic book film, Kick Ass. While the film made made money at the box office, received mostly positive reviews from critics, and generally struck a chord with it's target audience... it's obscene violence, unique ideas, and mostly stand-alone story seemed more like it would be seen as a cult classic or midnight movie instead of a franchise starter with mainstream appeal. Well... if there's a potential profit to be made, I guess anything is possible. When I reviewed the original film back in 2010, I gave it 3.5 stars out of 5. Looking back, I think I might have been a little tough on it. While I still don't think it's a perfect film, the enjoyable cast, gleefully immature tone, great action and obscenely over-the-top violence made Kick Ass one hell of a, well, "kick ass" movie. A four out of five would have been a more appropriate score. Don't know why I was so critical for that one, since those are usually the kinds of films I tend to be too lenient toward (maybe I was trying to avoid that). But whatever, what's done is done, and repeat viewings have made me appreciate the original more than I did before. So... with all that said, here's Kick Ass 2...

Kick Ass 2 picks up 3 years after it's predecessor. High School senior Dave Lizewski aka Kick Ass (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) has mostly retired from his superhero days and instead focused on his everyday life. Despite this, his previous stint as Kick Ass has inspired dozens of everyday citizens to take up their own superhero mantles and clean up the streets. Because of this, Dave puts back on his Kick Ass costume and allies with a local group of costumed heroes led by Colonel Stars and Stripes (Jim Carrey), all of whom have dedicated their lives to fighting crime and making the city a better place. Meanwhile, Mindy Macready aka Hit Girl (Chloë Grace Moretz), has struggled to adjust to a normal life after the death of her father, Big Daddy. She reluctantly retires her costume in an effort to become a normal teenager, but struggles to deal with the hardships of teen life. Things suddenly get more serious for both Kick Ass and Hit Girl when Chris D'Amico (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) takes on the mantra of a new super-villain known as "The Motherfucker" and assembles a team of costumed villains to avenge the death of his father (whom Kick Ass killed in the previous film). Now with a team of psychotic villains wrecking havoc on the city, Kick Ass and Hit Girl assemble all the costumed crime fighters they can find in order to put an end to the Motherfucker's reign of terror.

Kick Ass 2 is an interesting case... while watching it, I can honestly say that I was having a good time. That said, the more I think about it, the more I think about it's many flaws. Does that make it a good or a bad movie though? Honestly, I'm not totally sure right now. On one hand, despite the change in directors, it still manages to retain the same style of colorful costumes, gleefully over-the-top violence, and juvenile humor. That said, if you weren't a fan of the original or what I just mentioned, this one probably won't covert you. Plus, the cast is still game, with Chloe Grace Moretz once again stealing the show and adding another strong performance to her small but very impressive filmography. The lack of Nicolas Cage's Big Daddy is an unfortunate absence, but fortunately Jim Carrey's Colonel Stars and Stripes manages to pick up a bit of the slack with some of the movie's funniest scenes. There's also a number of new heroes and villains, most of whom have a neat gimmick and colorful costume, adding to the film's fun factor. One of the standout villains is Mother Russia (played by female bodybuilder Olga Kurkulina), an ex-KGB agent and ex-con, who serves as the Motherfucker's most physically formidable team member. Kurkulina is great the role as a naturally intimidating presence and formidable fighter. She also runs off with what is easily the film's most memorable and exciting action sequence. There's a lot in Kick Ass 2 that works, and if nothing else, the film usually works as a straight-forward action flick.

Unfortunately, with the good comes the bad, and there's plenty to nitpick here. While I will give the film credit for not being a simple retelling of it's predecessor, it does still tread some familiar turf. A couple scenes from this film feel like basic re-stagings of scenes from the previous film, namely one where Dave sets himself up to be attacked by a bunch of thugs and needs to be rescued by Hit Girl again. Only this time, it's not nearly as surprising, shocking, or memorable. There were also a couple of scenes where Dave argues with his father, in what was clearly intended to be a major dramatic point for the film and Dave's character. Unfortunately, they never set up that dynamic very well and those scenes come off as more flat, rushed, and oddly cold-hearted. Moretz's story-line, however, fares a bit better as Mindy attempts to retire her costumed persona and struggles to adjust to a life as a normal teenage girl. Some of her sub-plot's elements come off as more than a bit cliche'd but Moretz is a good enough actress to make them work, plus it does lead to what is easily the film's most effective bits of drama (and a few laughs too). The movie all works toward the expected giant good vs evil final battle, and while generally effective is quite predictable and hardly anything unique. It's definitely a far cry from the first film, which was one crazy twist and insane antic after the other, that it kept you on the edge of your seat wanting to know what would happen next. This one, it's pretty straightforward... not inherently a bad thing, but nothing special either.

If this review feels like it is among my shorter write-ups, it's because there's not much more to say about it. If you enjoyed the first film, I'm reasonably certain you'll find something to enjoy in this one, but it probably won't have the same effect as it's predecessor. I was thinking whether I should give the movie 2.5 or 3 stars, and since I went a little to hard on the first Kick Ass, I'm going to give this one the benefit of the doubt and give it 3 stars. A little generous... maybe, but I can't say that I didn't get some legitimate enjoyment out of the flick. If it sounds good to you, check it out.

Batman Forever - Review

The third entry of the Batman film series, known as Batman Forever, saw one of the strangest changes in tone in direction I've ever seen in a direct sequel. Lessening the darker and adult themes of the first two films, Batman Forever saw a return to the campy themes of the 60s TV series while only retaining an element or two of it's predecessors's darker vibes. The reason for that is pretty easy to understand. When Batman Returns was released in 1992, it struck a bad chord with concerned parents. For a series that had such a prominent child fan-base, many parents objected to the excessive violence and darker overtones of the film. While the film still struck box office gold, it made merchandising incredibly difficult. As a result, toy and other merchandise sales fell short of expectations. So for the new movie, Tim Burton was removed from the director's chair and replaced with Joel Schumacher in an effort to make a more child-friendly and marketable Batman film. The result was Batman Forever... a rather odd piece of cinema that tends to receive fairly mixed opinions from audiences. I have to admit that my feelings for this movie have continued to change over the years. I loved it as a kid, hated it as a teen, and as an adult... actually I hadn't seen it in years. Re-watching this one, to say the least, was an interesting experience. For the first time, I had the opportunity to truly experience this film as an adult. After removing the nostalgia goggles, here's what I thought of Batman Forever.

Taking place some time after Batman Returns (it's not explicitly state though), the Dark Knight (now played by Val Kilmer) continues to protect the streets of Gotham City from the criminal underworld, now taking on two new foes. The first of which is Harvey Dent aka Two-Face (Tommy Lee Jones), a former District Attorney for Gotham turned criminal madman after a mobster through acid onto the left side of his face, leaving him horribly scarred. Dent blamed Batman for failing to stop the mob attack, and as a result went insane, developing a split personality and deciding the fate of his victims by flipping his special coin. Batman's second enemy arrives in the form of the brilliant though completely insane Edward Nygma aka The Riddler (Jim Carrey). Nygma was once an employee of his idol, Bruce Wayne, but when Wayne himself rejected Nygma's invention, a brain manipulating entertainment device, he took it personally and vowed revenge on the billionaire philanthropist. Taking on the mantra of The Riddler, he leaves clues and puzzles for Wayne to solve all while causing havoc on the city streets with Two-Face. Meanwhile, Wayne romances Dr. Chase Meridian (Nicole Kidman), a psychiatrist who helps Wayne conquer his tragic past as well as his struggling identities. All while this is happening, Wayne takes in a young man named Dick Grayson (Chris O'Donnell), a circus acrobat whose family was murdered at the hands of Two-Face. Bent on revenge, Grayson soon discovers the secret of Batman and becomes determined to join him in his mission of protecting the city. 

Eeesh... it's easy to see why so many superhero films prefer to include only one villain. When you throw more than that into the mix, the plots feel so cluttered and messy that it becomes next to impossible to actually tell a coherent story... and this is no exception. It's really too bad, since this is honestly the closest a Batman movie has ever truly tried to explore the darker themes and psyche of Bruce Wayne and his alter ego. Dr. Meridian helps understand why he took on the mantra of Batman, why he feels the need to protect the city, and to deal with the fear and anger he has been facing since witnessing his parents' deaths. The interactions between Wayne and Grayson have their moments too. Wayne sees a lot of himself in the young Grayson, a young man determined to get revenge on the psycho that killed his family is all too familiar for Bruce. It is this, along with his previous status as a lone crime fighter, that he remains reluctant to take in a partner. By the time Grayson takes up the mantle of Robin, it's a pretty cool result. This is actually some pretty interesting stuff. When the movies decides to focus strictly on these aspects, it's actually pretty good. You really get a feel for the pain both Bruce and Dick face in their struggles and it makes for a decent movie. 

Unfortunately, when the movie breaks away from the Bruce/Dick/Chase storyline, it becomes damn near unbearable. While it had basically become a staple of the Batman movies by then to focus more on the villains than the title character, this time it's even worse. In the first movie, while it focused too much on the Joker, that movie at least had the benefit of Jack Nicholson's enjoyable (if flawed) performance to carry the movie. In Batman Returns, the Penguin's disturbing subplot may have seemed out of place for a Batman film, but it at least was an intriguing look at a tragic and disturbed character (in any other movie, it might have been pretty good). Here, the villains have the unfortunate quality of being both boring AND annoying, and believe me that's no easy feat. It's not like there wasn't material to work with here either. Two-Face was one of the comics' most interesting and tragic foes, a once passionate cruasder for good fallen by the hands of the criminal underwold. A character with a split personality has all kinds of interesting "Jekyll and Hyde" possiblities, but the movie never goes there. Instead, he's relegated to an over-the-top cackling villain with no depth or any real determinate personality. The Riddler isn't much better. Like Two-Face, he has also been resorted to more of a punch line, spitting out stupid one-liners and chewing the scenery. The riddles and puzzles he's constantly leaving make no sense and contribute little to the plot. Oh, and about those one-liners... THEY ARE PAINFUL!!! This movie has some of the lamest and dumbest dialogue I've ever heard, even by comic book standards, they're just embarrassing. The only thing positive I can say about it is that the lines aren't quite as painful as to what would come in the next film (but I'll save that for the next review). Eeesh... what a wasted opportunity. So much potential resorted to cheap jokes and dull characters. 

The cast kind of corresponds to what I had written in the above paragraphs. The actors are really only as good as the characters are written. Val Kilmer isn't half bad as the new Caped Crusader. While the script has a few interesting character beats, it doesn't have quite enough to truly let Kilmer sink himself in the role, but for what he was presented with, he does it well. Nicole Kidman isn't too bad either. While her primary job is as a love interest and (at one point anyway) damsel in distress, she makes the most of what she was given. At the very least, she makes some contributions to the plot here and there and wasn't there exclusively for sex appeal (though there's plenty of that too). Chris O'Donnell sells his role as Dick Grayson adequately, as you really do feel the pain he's going through coping with the loss of his family. He is a little older than the traditional Robin (in most interpretations, Grayson was around 10-12). Once he actually becomes Robin, he isn't really much of a superhero, but then again he was just starting out. Overall, these actors aren't too shabby.

Now, as for Tommy Lee Jones and Jim Carrey... ugh. Jones is an excellent actor, and with an Oscar under his belt, he was a potentially great choice for Two-Face (not that this matters, but the role was originally contracted to Lando Calrisi-- I mean... Billy Dee Williams, who played Dent in the first movie). Unfortunately the script doesn't give him a damn thing to do except cackle hysterically and do, what is essentially, a lousy Joker impression. This is a major letdown, especially when you consider just how interesting of a villain Two-Face was in the comics and other adaptations. Jim Carrey as the Riddler... oh God! Jim Carrey was one of Hollywood's biggest stars at the time, so there's no wonder why Warner Bros wanted him to be in this film. Unfortunately, his portrayal of the Riddler is pretty much Ace Ventura if he were a villain. He brings his trademark comedic schtick to this role, and even for a character that's been portrayed as a bit over-the-top before, increases it to 11. He's neither funny nor is he threatening, instead he's just grating! He chews so much scenery that he completely steals the show... only in the worst possible way. It's like he felt the need to one-up everyone, resulting in a performance that's as annoying as it is infuriating. It's really a shame that these villains fail so miserably, especially considering the promising back-stories and actors.

In terms of technical execution... I'm kind of torn here. Like I mentioned, most of the Gothic elements from the previous two films have been replaced here in favor of a colorful campy style. Ultimately, that boils down to an aesthetic preference, but personally, I just found it to be an ugly and very questionable choice. The original went with a noir-themed aesthetic because the style was previously used in film to illustrate themes of corruption, crime, and gritty anti-heroes who teetered on the edge of darkness themselves (which is basically Batman in a nutshell). This colorful neon-heavy style was clearly an effort to give it more of a comic book come-to-life feel but that kind of aesthetic only works on the pages of a comic... as a live action film, it just looks weird and unpleasant. The action scenes have their moments, but I can't think of many truly stand-out stunts or money shots to separate this flick from the barrage of big budget blockbuster that swarm theaters every summer. That's not to say that the action scenes are bad, actually most of serve the movie just fine, they just either ring to similar to the previous Bat-flicks or other action movies. As for the costumes... this was the first movie to introduce the infamous appearance bat nipples on both the Batman and Robin costumes. It's something fans love to mock... and yeah, they are kind of strange. That's mainly since don't serve much of a purpose or function, and just add to the odd choices for this movie. So the technical execution is hit and miss... the production values are high, but the odd directorial choices are very distracting.

So that's Batman Forever... and it's not very good. I can't quite call it terrible, since the movie actually does have a few interesting moments. Still, they just don't make up for cheesy dialogue, annoying villains, and bizarre art direction. Watching it... there's just no denying that this film sold out too much of the comic's darker themes in favor of more a more kind friendly and marketable blockbuster. Though, if there's one compliment I can offer to this film, it's this... what would come next would make this one look like a masterpiece!

My Score: 2 out of 5!