Machete - Review

A while back, I wrote a review for The Expendables. Some people asked me why I was being so harsh on it, saying things like "Its a movie with a bunch of action dudes! Why take it so seriously?" Yes, its true, I wasn't too enthusiastic about the movie, though if you actually read my review and not just looked at the score, I actually said that my biggest complaint was that it wasn't silly enough. I only it 2.5 stars and criticized the film for playing it too seriously and not taking advantage of its inherently goofy premise. Now, what if that said movie actually had fun with its B-Movie plot? I would imagine it might be something like Machete... a far superior B-level action movie. How much better is Machete? Lets take a look, shall we?

Machete is based on the fake trailer shown in the Robert Rodriguez/Quentin Tarantino collaboration, Grindhouse. Machete (Danny Trejo) is a Mexican super-cop turned illegal immigrant day-worker after his family was brutally murdered by a ruthless drug dealer named Torez (Steven Seagal). While trying to live a quiet life in a small Texas town, he is hired by a mysterious individual to assassinate Senator McLaughlin (Robert De Niro), a borderline-racist politician whose campaign is based around around tighter immigration laws. Machete is then betrayed by his employers and set up as a fugitive in order to attain the Senator sympathy votes in the upcoming election. He then finds himself in the middle of a war between racist border guards, drug cartel, corrupt politicians, and an underground network of illegal immigrants.

Machete is one of those movies that could go for just laughs... a silly over-the-top grindhouse movie that, while fun, would have little to no substance behind the silly plot. Nothing wrong with that, there is no law saying all movies have to push an agenda or have some message attached. Some pure-fun grindhouse movies have been pretty enjoyable (Piranha 3D) while others, not so much (The Expendables). Then again, when a movie that uses a goofy concept actually has some relevant underlying theme, it feels more complete. Movies like District 9, Robocop, or X-Men all feel more nourishing because they include profound insights into themes of apartheid, privatization, or prejudice (homophobia to be particular) respectively. Machete follows that said suit and builds a story around the subject of immigration and border control. Its a pretty gutsy concept, one that certainly has more than its share of controversy. Make no mistake, this is the kind of movie the folks at Fox News would flip their lids over.

Of course, when you get right down to it, people go to see a movie like this mainly for the action. Does it deliver? Let me ask you this... are you feeling bloodthirsty today? This is an absolute brutal, chaotic, and insanely bloody movie! It's so over-the-top that you can't help but have fun with the movie... if you're into that kind of thing (which I am). How bloody are we talking here? Let me say this... have you ever seen a movie where the main characters rips out the intestines of a guy and uses it as a rope??? Of course, all of this brutality comes compliments of Mr. One-Man-Studio, Robert Rodriguez... the legendary film geek behind cult hits like the El Mariachi trilogy, From Dusk Till Dawn, and the Spy Kids movies (okay, so the Spy Kids movies weren't his best). But still, you can't deny that this guy knows brutal action. There is nobody in this industry who does this kind of film better than Rodriguez.

Now the casting is where the film has its ups and downs. Sure, the movie is obviously trying to be cheesy, but there's still some things that need to be said. First, you've got Danny Trejo as Machete. You can't deny that this guy has the look for the part. Big, gruff, and bitter all describe the guy. Not a huge range of emotions, and some might say that he's bland (which may be true), but this is the kind of part that makes good use of that. He's brutal, big, cold, and pulls off the action scenes with flawless tenacity.

Then you have Jessica Alba as Agent River, an immigrations official infamous for deporting illegals. Alba is definitely the weakest link... little personality and so-so delivery, she's pretty forgettable. Steven Seagal has his moments of enjoyability as a goofy villain, but usually doesn't make the character as intimidating as he could have. On the good side, Michelle Rodriguez pulls off a convincing female-revolutionary leader, De Niro was a great choice as a crooked politician, and Cheech Marin has some unforgettable moments as a tough, bad-ass, gun-wielding priest! Finally, there's Lindsay Lohan as April Booth, the coke-snorting, promiscuous, rich daddy's girl daughter of one of the villains... was that perfecting casting or what!

The only real complains aside from some of the miscasting is that sometimes a few things don't quite add up. Yes, the movie is goofy and doesn't try to hide that (and it shouldn't), but some of the plot points don't quite add up in the end. Some of the supporting characters come off a bit annoying too, and the film's attempt to merge new footage with the Grindhouse trailer footage doesn't always work either.

Still, despite its flaws, Machete is an insanely enjoyable over-the-top exploitation action flick! If you can stomach the violence (believe me, its not for the faint of heart) and the concept sounds fun to you, definitely check it out.

I give Machete 4 out of 5 stars!