The Expendables - Review

Can somebody explain to me why most action movies this summer have centered around teams of heroes? First there was The Losers, then we had The A-Team, and now we have The Expendables. Arguably the most hyped of the three, the Sylvester Stallone-directed Expendables features a cast of nearly every everyone recognizable action star of the 80s and 90s. Paying a tribute to the action flicks of the 80s, the cast sure packs a punch, but is it enough to warrant a ticket price?

The movie centers around a team of mercenaries known as The Expendables. Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone) serves as the team leader with knife specialist Lee Christmas (Jason Statham) and martial arts expert Ying Yang (Jet Li) as his two most trusted soldiers. Also on the team is the unstable sniper Gunner Jensen (Dolph Lundgren), demolitionist Toll Road (Randy Couture), and heavy weapons specialist Hale Caesar (Terry Crews). The team is given an assignment from the mysterious Mr. Church (Bruce Willis) to overthrow a South American dictator. Upon arriving to the foreign land, they discover there might be more behind the merciless government than they originally had thought.

I'll say this, just like a have a bit of a soft spot for corny B-Movies (as I mentioned in my Piranha 3D review), I also get a kick out of cheesy action flicks. Seeing an ensemble cast of such legendary veterans of the action genre is a treat unto itself. Unfortunately, when the novelty of the cast wears off, there really isn't too much left in this film. The two most prominent actors shown in The Expendables are Stallone and Statham, who while fun in their own right, are easily the weakest characters of the team. They have their moments, and do their part when they get their moment to shine in some sweet action scenes. Jet Li, however, gets some decent screen time as well, but is also out-shown by the previous two.

Dolph Lundgren was surprisingly one of the most enjoyable actors in the movie. He brings his unstable charisma to a very fun character, but like most of the cast, is pushed aside for a lot of the run-time. Mickey Rourke has a very small part as a former member of the team. This was one of the most disappointing parts of the film, limiting the screen-time of who is easily the best and most credible actor in the movie. Some choice cameos from Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger (seriously, Arnold is in this movie!) were fun but had little impact on the film as a whole.

I don't have much to say about the villains either. David Zayas, Eric Roberts, and Steve Austin portray the Expendables main enemies of the film. Zayas and Roberts do their villainous schtick fairly well, while Austin's tendency to overact hasn't changed since his last few films. Their standard villains for this kind of story, but came off a bit flat. For a movie like this, it would have been fun to see a more over-the-top villain. Watch the movie Commando and you'll know what I'm talking about. For a movie with a concept that is so self-aware and cheesy, a crazier villain would have fit right in.

The writing overall was mixed bag. When the team was all together, the movie was awesome! The intro was great, as was the finale, but whenever it decided to chill out with its individual characters, it lost a lot of zip. There is a mostly pointless subplot involving Lee Christmas and his girlfriend, that adds little to no development for the plot or his character. There were a few other subplots that detracted from the movie's focus and what it represented. Plus, the violence was overall pretty tame for this kind of movie, save for the bloody opening and climax. Any gore looked like it was added in at the last minute, leading me to think that Stallone originally wanted a PG-13 rating, but changed his mind and added some last minute violence in post production to get an R rating. For a premise so thin, its a wonder why it feels so unfocused.

Typically, the movie knows what it is. I could complain about how silly and cliche the plot is, but that would totally defeat the purpose. The Expendables wasn't trying to rewrite the action formula, but rather deliver a nostalgic flick for those who have fond memories of the 80s. Typically it succeeded, but there were times it seemed like it took itself a tad too seriously, therefore killing the mood. Still, for the most part, its good 80s fun.

To no big surprise, the action scenes were pretty awesome... most of the time. There's a bunch of good explosions, some sweet fights (Jet Li always rocks), and a heavy dose of guns and knives. The finale alone delivered some crazy explosions that will likely satisfy anyone with nostalgic feelings for 80s action. Unfortunately, the cinematography was not up to speed. Stallone decided to use the Bourne-style shaky cam technique. When the camera wasn't shaking all over the place, it often used uncomfortable close ups on the actors' faces. Why? I have no idea. I will admit that action films on average have improved since the 80s, I still don't understand why shaky cameras have become so popular. An erratic camera is one thing, but I really prefer to actually see what is happening on screen. Overall, the action is fun when you can see it.

Overall, The Expendables was pretty fun, but with a cast like this, I expected more. Had the team had more screen time together, and the camera not been so erratic, I would have probably rated this higher. Overall, its worth a viewing, but probably only one.

My Score: A 2.5 out of 5!

Piranha 3D - Review

Just so my readers know, Piranha 3D was a movie that was actually made for me. I mean the filmmakers deliberately made this movie for me. They knew I liked cheesy B-Movie plots, that Jaws is one of my favorite movies, that laughably over-the-top casts are a guilty pleasure, and that insane horror movie gore make me giddy. Okay, well they didn't actually make it for me, but HOLY SHIT THIS MOVIE IS AWESOME!!! I have no doubt that I am going be to ostracized from some of my film-savy friends for praising such a cheesy movie, or that my non-horror watching friends are going to think I'm crazy for liking it, but I really don't care! This movie was everything a horror fan or B-Movie enthusiast would love, its an absolute blast!

Piranha 3D is a remake of Piranha, the 1978 Joe Dante-directed Jaws spoof. This movie takes place in the town of Lake Victoria, a small community on the eve of their annual spring break festival. The town is preparing for tens of thousands of young tourists to invade the lake community, leaving the town's Sheriff Julie Forester (Elizabeth Shue), Deputy Fallon (Ving Rhames), and a small ensemble of enforcers in charge of the town's safety. Unfortunately, an earthquake erupts on the eve of tourist season, opening up a cave at the bottom of the lake and releasing a school of vicious prehistoric piranhas. Now, with the lake full of drunk and horny college students, the hungry piranha take to the unsuspecting party-goers, including Sheriff Forester's children.

While I wouldn't call Piranha 3D a parody, it is certainly a self aware send-up of the horror/B-Movie genre. It knows exactly what it is and knows its audience. Its a bloody, sex-ridden, and balls-to-the-wall horror film that pulls absolutely no punches. It takes a special talent to deliver a "so-bad-its-good" kind of movie, and director Alexandre Aja has that ability. It has a good time poking fun at itself, but it doesn't let its sense of humor overshadow the fundamentals of a horror flick. I wouldn't say that a horror film necessarily needs to be bloody or gory, but if one chooses to go in that direction, than it better deliver on some creative death scenes.

So, is Piranha 3D bloody enough... OH GOD! This may very well be the bloodiest, goriest, most graphic movie I have ever seen. The best part about it is that every death and attack sequence is done so tongue in cheek and over-the-top, that it is hard not to laugh. The scenes are graphic (VERY GRAPHIC) but the executions (no pun intended) are so creative. When you consider that there is an approximately 15 minute scene of absolute mayhem, its a celebration of chaos. Of course, those who come to this movie hoping to see some hot naked women... you won't leave disappointed either ;)

One thing that surprised me is that Piranha 3D boasts a very impressive cast for a film of this caliber. As I mentioned before, Elizabeth Shue leads as the heroic Sherrif of Lake Victoria. Its just funny when you consider that such an accomplished (and Oscar-nominated) actress would choose to act in this. Her presence brings some credibility to a genre that is generally pretty lacking in the acting areas. Ving Rhames brings his enjoyable tough guy persona to his role as Deputy Fallon. Probably the most featured actor is the young Steven R. McQueen as Jake Forester, the teenage son of the Sheriff, who finds himself in an unfortunate situation with the carnivorous fish. McQueen is passable I suppose, he certainly brings the needed charisma to his role, but plays it pretty safe. There wasn't too much to his character other than as the reluctant hero persona seen in most teen horror flicks.

Probably the most enjoyable performances come from the supporting cast and a numerous lineup of cameos. One of the more enjoyable supporting roles comes from Jerry O'Connell as Derrick Jones, a drug abusing pervert filming a Girls Gone Wild-esque video. It looked like O'Connell was having a blast with the role, playing an incredible jerk of a character whose memorable fate is arguably the best in the movie. I won't spoil it, but I'll just say that its unforgettable. The cameos, however, are what really brighten up this movie. Richard Dreyfus makes a memorable appearance in the opening scene, unofficially reprising his role as Matt Hooper from Jaws. My personal favorite was Christopher Lloyd as Mr. Goodman, the local fish specialist. Lloyd brings his trademark eccentricity to the role. Fans of Back to the Future will immediately recognize some close similarities to his Doc Brown persona. Another honorable mention needs to go out to Eli Roth's short role as a wet tee-shirt judge... nice! Overall, the cast was fun, energetic, and looked like they were having a blast making this movie. Great choices!

Whats didn't work in Piranha 3D? Well, the film is definitely not for everyone. Anybody with a weak stomach for blood will want to stay as far away from this movie as possible, and I definitely wouldn't suggest bringing the kids to it. It pushes its R-Rating to its limit, with arguably the most blood, sex, and profanity the rating could accept before reaching NC-17 territory. Of course, if those kinds of things are why you are seeing Piranha 3D, that's hardly a bad thing.

One thing that bugged me was the ending. Like many horror movies, the ending is inconclusive and abrupt, leaving it open for a sequel. This has always bothered me when it comes to horror movies. I don't mind leaving a story open for another, but they really should have provided a bit more closure. Another that I wished I saw more of was from the cameos I mentioned earlier. Some of the appearances were so enjoyable, that I felt a bit cheated that we didn't see more of them, especially Christopher Lloyd.

Overall, Piranha 3D is an insanely enjoyable B-Movie throwback. If you're looking for 90 minutes of relentless gore, sex, and thrills than Piranha 3D will do the trick. Its a bloody good time!

My Score: 4 out of 5!

Salt - Review

Salt is an interesting movie. Well, actually the movie itself isn't that interesting but the story behind it is. The script, written by Equilibrium screenwriter, Kurt Wimmer, originally featured a male actor to portay Agent Salt. It was eventually greenlit with Tom Cruise set to star, but problems during production forced Cruise to drop the role, leaving the movie without a suitable male lead. Finding it difficult to find a new lead, the script was rewritten to accommodate a female lead, and Angelina Jolie was chosen as the new Agent Salt.

The movie centers around Evelyn Salt (Angelina Jolie), an elite CIA agent. Salt is a dedicated, respected, and trustworthy agent, until evidence is presented linking her to a group of Russian spies. Now, with her husband's life in danger and her name is question, Salt goes on the run to discover who is behind this.

Let me address what I wrote at the beginning of this review, "actually the movie itself isn't that interesting." That does not mean that I didn't enjoy the movie, on the contrary, I actually loved it! Its just that the plot... yeah its very generic. If my plot description seems lacking, its because I literally could not think of a creative way to describe such a oft-told story. Once you get past that you have a woman playing a character that is typically male, there's not much to else to get by. The premise was basic, characters were typical, and the ending was incredibly predictable. So like I said, the movie may be good, but its not particularly interesting.

The technical execution of the film is what really made Salt entertaining. I've heard a lot of critics dismissing Salt's action sequences as generic and "been-there-done-that." I understand where they are coming from, but after watching the movie, it occurred to me... for the typical summer blockbuster, what is generic action? Blockbusters nowadays are typically cg-laden, comic-bookish, almost fantasy-like over-the-top action. While Salt wasn't particularly realistic, seeing a movie with human characters doing stunt work not aided by heavy and/or obvious cg was actually quite refreshing. It reminded of movies like Die Hard or Speed, movies that used traditional film making to accomplish cool action scenes. Don't get me wrong, cg has become quite impressive, but its become such a staple of modern cinema, that creativity and imagination has been headed downhill for quite some time.

While Salt was occasionally being slowed down by a basic premise, the movie kept a good pace. The cinematography was surprisingly good for this kind of style. It utilizes the sort of Jason Bourne-ish hand held approach, but tones town the shake-factor so you can actually see what's happening. The action was appropriately erratic but not insane, and the less thrilling scenes didn't rely on shaky-cam gimmicks to increase any moods. For once, a cinematographer actually used this style well. The editing was quick and fast-paced as well. Not much of the movie was dragged out, but instead kept a good pace and didn't lose much of an intensity. It was impressive to say the least.

Acting was pretty standard overall. For a part that was originally intended for a guy, Angelina Jolie was the ideal choice. She brings a good charisma to the character without overdoing it. Plus, she avoids the typical movie cliche of a female agent dwelling on her sexual prowess as opposed to her skills. Of course, while saying Jolie isn't sexy in this movie would be a lie (lets be reasonable, its impossible for her not to look good), they don't dwell on it nor do they exploit it... wise move. The other performances were overall good. Nobody else really stood out, though Liev Schreiber did his usual good job.

The ending of Salt was left often for a sequel and possible franchise. If you ask me, they might have been a bit too optimistic to bet on this kind of concept to keep going. It was a fun movie, but the storyline wasn't nearly compelling enough to repeat itself, nor was the action breathtaking enough to leave one wanting more. A solid action movie, but I would be very surprised to see this one continue.

I give Salt 4 out of 5! A bit generous maybe, but it hit most of the right notes.